I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
This is my gift to your gina
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
