the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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