im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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