FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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