Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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