What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
she peed on how many people?
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Randomize
