i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Even my vagina gasped.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
