IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
