you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
