He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
You pole danced in your parka.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
