I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
