I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize