If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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