Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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