Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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