..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Randomize