Moan for me like Helen Keller
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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