you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Randomize
