she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
