When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
The air was thick with penises
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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