HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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