hell yes lets make some ravioli
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
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