so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
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