Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Every concussion has its silver lining
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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