so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
The air was thick with penises
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
do nipples grow back?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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