Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
