i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
