He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
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