This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
this boner is exhausting
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize