Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
As shirtless as possible
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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