cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
