my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize