I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
