trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
