I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
