oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Last time i carry you out of a forest
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
