The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
