32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
