Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
