She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
she pinky promised me she was 18
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
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