Are we in a gay sports bar?
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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