You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
