it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
