why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
