Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize