two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Randomize
