I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
im calling her cock vulture from now on
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
