You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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