she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
