CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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