took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
