people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
