He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
