nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
