My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
