The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
