She said her name was "party"
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
