that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I have post one night stand depression
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