Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Randomize
