if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
