this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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