Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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