Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
